The Duke of Pants

We have seen all kinds of bad news in the media, both social and mainstream, lately. A horrifying, tragic, evil act in Aurora, Colorado. A wealthy man using his wealth to impose his narrowminded ideals on society at large. Upheavals, destruction, disruption, all kinds of bad news.

So, I decided that I didn’t quite need so much dignity and to share a few random, insignificant, tiny things that demonstrate, to me at least, just how awesome life is, for a little contrast. If I am lifting your spirits, or make you smile, bonus!

Not too long ago, we were getting ready to close up at the day job. It was about five minutes to midnight, and we had the radio playing as we cleaned up. Fairly normal, typical even. Nothing really exciting, just another end to another day. Then the “Final Countdown” starts playing on the radio. The original by the band Europe, rather then the cover by the Clockwork Dolls (would’ve been cooler if it was) I usually listen to, but still pretty epic. The timing couldn’t have been better, as the song ended just as we locked the doors for the night.

Oh, but it gets better. Several days before that, my roommate was in the other room playing Diablo 3. He was going through his inventory and commented on how he would soon need to replace his legendary pants, which are an armor item that grants gameplay bonuses, for those who might be unfamiliar with the Diablo franchise or gameplay. This strikes me as amusing, and since spreading random insanity is rather high on the list of things I do, I come to the conclusion that this must be shared. I pick a friend at random on Facebook, one who is online and available to chat at the time, and send him the message: “I need legendary pants.”

A minute or two later he replies, “Want to see the ones I am looking at?”

“You are looking at legendary pants?” I ask.

Lo and behold, he sends me a link to Lip Service’s website, where he is viewing a pair of leather rockstar style pants. The kind you could imagine Dee Snyder wearing on stage while performing with Twisted Sister. Something Henry Rollins might wear. These really are legendary pants.

Couple this with some conversations concerning a large Korean man answering to the name of Incidental Errand who kills people with baby blue polyester leisure suit pants, and now my roommate wants to dub me his Grace, the Duke of Pants.

Life, I have found is full of these moments. These little nuggets of awesome amid the Dull, the boring, the frustrating, the stressful. Little things that remind you that life is too epic to be described in words. It’s finding these things that lets me know I am on the right track. They encourage me when writer’s block has me goofing off, instead of testing the might of the pen against the might of the sword. The random tangent, much like the journey, is often better then the destination. I find relief. I find a new perspective. I find that when these moments bring me up short, interrupt my life with humor and laughter, I then return to the task at hand from a new perspective. I take a better look around me, and usually find what I was looking for, much closer then I thought, and within my grasp.

The next time things seem grim, when you have a hard time finding a guiding light, remember that in this life, no matter how dark it gets, hilarity, inspiration, and an awesome sense of the epic lurk just beneath the surface. You just have to keep an ear open, and possibly be in need of medication. When, and where, you least expect to find it, will come one of those random, legendary moments that make your day. And quite possibly, make your day again several days later.

And now, if you will excuse me…

I need Legendary Pants.

About Syfer Locke


Kent Gooch is better known as the time traveling, swashbuckling, gunslinging browncoat sky-rat, Syfer Locke. He has roamed the skies from Oz to Middle Earth and back again, but his current port of call is in North Dakota. When he isn't finding trouble, he writes, draws, and on occasion, hits people with swords. Renaissance Festivals, Conventions, and just plain Tuesday nights, you can find him with steel in hand, ready to take on all comers. He takes that same do or die attitude with him everywhere he goes, and he will do whatever it takes, including rubbing soup in your hair. He may be crazy, but it just may be a lunatic you're looking for. Unless, you were looking for droids. In that case, these are not the droids you are looking for. Move along.

3 comments for “The Duke of Pants

  1. August 1, 2012 at 4:30 am

    The Duke of Pants sounds an excellent addition to a steampunk cards set.

    • August 1, 2012 at 4:35 am

      You know, it would. Someone has proposed more then once an idea like that… Like Baseball cards, but all steampunks…

      • August 1, 2012 at 5:28 am

        With various vital statistics, portrait and a brief bio? I think it’s a splendid notion.

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